Tap anything on the table. Every piece tells you what it is and when it’s yours.
Plates
Cutlery
Glasses
Linen
Customs
Outside in
Cutlery is laid in the order you will use it. Start at the outside and work toward the plate, one course at a time. Source
b and d
Make an OK sign with each hand: the left makes a b, the right makes a d. Bread on the left, drinks on the right. Source
Resting and finished
Pausing: knife and fork apart on the plate, like an upside-down V. Finished: side by side across the plate, handles at four o’clock. The server reads it. Source
Plate · Under the dinner plate
Charger
A decorative base plate. You don’t eat from it.
- When
- On the table when you sit down. It’s usually swapped out when the main-course plate arrives.
- How
- Leave it where it is. The early courses arrive on their own plates, set on top of it.
- Why
- It holds your place and sits under every course that comes before the main.
Source: Emily Post Institute, The Formal Place Setting
Plate · Center of your place
Dinner plate
The main-course plate. Everything else is arranged around it.
- When
- The main course. In most restaurants it arrives with the food already on it.
- How
- Food stays here. Bread goes on the small plate to your left, not on this one.
- Why
- Find the plate and you have found your place: forks to its left, knives and spoons to its right.
Source: Etiquette Scholar, Table Setting
Linen · On the plate, or to its left
Napkin
Onto your lap as soon as you sit. At a hosted dinner, wait for the host.
- When
- The first thing you touch, and the last.
- How
- A large napkin stays folded in half on your lap. Blot, don’t wipe. Stepping away: loosely on your chair. Finished: loosely to the left of your plate.
- Why
- Chair or table: where you leave it shows whether you’re coming back.
Source: Etiquette Scholar, Napkin Etiquette
Cutlery · Outermost on the left
Salad fork
The smaller fork on the outside. It goes first.
- When
- The salad or starter, before the main course.
- How
- Work from the outside in: the fork furthest from your plate is always the next one you need.
- Why
- Cutlery is laid in the order you will use it, so you never have to guess.
Source: Emily Post Institute, The Formal Place Setting
Cutlery · Left, next to the plate
Dinner fork
The larger fork, closest to the plate. For the main course.
- When
- The main course.
- How
- Hold it in your left hand, tines down, while you cut. Then switch it to your right hand to eat (American) or keep it in your left (Continental).
- Why
- Both styles are fine in the US, even mixed within the same course.
Source: Emily Post Institute, Continental Style Dining
Cutlery · Right, next to the plate
Dinner knife
Right of the plate, blade facing in.
- When
- The main course.
- How
- Cut one or two bites at a time. Between bites, rest it on your plate, blade facing in, never back on the tablecloth.
- Why
- The blade faces the plate so it never points at the person beside you.
Source: Candace Smith Etiquette, Table Setting Etiquette
Cutlery · Outermost on the right
Soup spoon
Outside the knife. Soup comes first, so it sits furthest out.
- When
- The soup course.
- How
- Scoop away from you and touch the spoon’s underside to the far rim to catch drips. Finished: rest it on the plate under the bowl, or in a wide, shallow bowl.
- Why
- Same rule as the forks: outside in, in the order of the courses.
Source: Emily Post Institute, How to Eat Soup the Proper Way
Cutlery · Above the plate, handle left
Dessert fork
Below the dessert spoon, handle pointing left.
- When
- Dessert.
- How
- When dessert arrives, bring it down to the left of your plate.
- Why
- Dessert is the one exception to outside in: its cutlery waits above the plate.
Source: Crystal Signature Events, How to Set a Formal Table
Cutlery · Above the plate, handle right
Dessert spoon
Above your plate, handle pointing right. It waits there all meal.
- When
- Dessert.
- How
- When dessert arrives, bring it down to the right of your plate.
- Why
- Each handle points to the side it moves to: spoon right, fork left.
Source: Crystal Signature Events, How to Set a Formal Table
Plate · Top left
Bread plate
Top left. Your bread plate is always on your left.
- When
- Whenever bread is served, from the start of the meal.
- How
- Take bread from the basket onto this plate. Tear off one bite at a time and butter only that bite.
- Why
- Make a b and a d with your fingers. b for bread, on the left. d for drink, on the right.
Source: Emily Post Institute, Basic Table Setting
Cutlery · Across the bread plate
Butter knife
Lying across the bread plate, handle to the right, blade facing you.
- When
- With the bread.
- How
- Put a little butter on your bread plate first, then butter each torn piece from there, never from the shared dish.
- Why
- The handle points right so a right-handed diner can pick it up easily.
Source: Emily Post Institute, Table Setting Guides
Glass · Above the knife
Water glass
Directly above your knife. Glasses on your right are yours.
- When
- Throughout the meal.
- How
- At a crowded table, find your plate first: the water above your knife is yours.
- Why
- Drinks on the right, bread on the left: the b and d rule again.
Source: Candace Smith Etiquette, Placing Wine Glasses on Your Table
Glass · Right of the water glass
Red wine glass
The wider bowl, just right of the water glass.
- When
- Usually with the main course, especially meat.
- How
- Hold it by the stem. A server pours and will ask what you’d like, so no need to reach.
- Why
- Wine glasses are set in the order they’re used, so red, poured last, sits nearest the water.
Source: Candace Smith Etiquette, Placing Wine Glasses on Your Table
Glass · Furthest right
White wine glass
The smaller bowl, furthest right. Often poured first.
- When
- Usually with the earlier courses, like fish or chicken.
- How
- Hold it by the stem so your hand doesn’t warm the wine.
- Why
- Glasses follow the cutlery rule: outside in, in the order they are used.
Source: Candace Smith Etiquette, Placing Wine Glasses on Your Table